There are certainly more than 4 thoughts on considering couples therapy, however, most people recognize the ‘huge’ ones right away as being sexual, emotional or financial infidelity. These are often considered to be ‘the crisis’ that persuade couples to walk through a therapist’s door.
If We Had Only Gone Earlier...
Couples that have gone for counseling often state, ‘if only we had gone earlier – before matters got so bad, it would have simplified so many things.’ The feeling is that the issues may be more nuanced leading up to the crisis point. If this could have been recognized and talked through with some guidance, the relationship may have been strengthened more or even saved.
Ask the Question
One very important question to ask yourselves is, ‘If I could resolve this issue between us, why haven’t I already?’ Most people aren’t taught how a healthy relationship evolves – let alone how to maintain it. So don’t ever feel that it’s shameful needing to ask the experts for some guidance.
There are three sides to every story: her side, his side and the truth. A therapist as an objective third party is an excellent way to work through non-effective communication issues that may have developed over time.
A Therapist will agree that there are more than 4 thoughts on considering couples therapy, but each of these thoughts should be brought to the forefront of any discussion with your partner – or yourself.
If you’re having the same argument over and over again, you know that something is wrong. If you and your partner don’t change something this will most certainly keep happening. By allowing a therapist to listen to you both, you may gain a fresh view on the issue and be able to see things from a different perspective.
Have you Been Looking?
Have you been looking outside of your relationship for someone to talk to or even more – Considering Couples Therapy may save you huge heartache. This often happens if one partner is feeling lonely or not heard. It may be much smaller issues that lead to this crisis situation. Hence, therapy support earlier rather than later allows the process of healing to be much smoother.
Has There Been a Change?
Another huge stressor might be if there’s been a major transition in your lives. This could be anything from a cross-country move, a new job or new baby. Anything that disrupts the status quo can be challenging to adapt to. This is an excellent time to be considering couples therapy and speak to someone about the challenges that you’re facing and gain insight on each other’s feelings.
People change over time and not always in the same direction. Many things that you’ve always agreed on in the past might not be that way any longer. Things that you’ve never felt were that important may be more so now. Using a therapist is a wonderful way of gaining perspective and understanding of each other’s goals and values. The therapist will give both of you honest feedback and clear insight into how you could move forward as a couple.
The Bottom Line - Considering Couples Therapy
The bottom line is: Even if you both think differently about what the trouble may be – going to therapy is a valued commitment to each other. Really, walking through the door of a therapist’s office and being willing to discuss concerns is a very strong way of showing your love.
Sweet Spot Family Counselling
Sweet Spot Family Counselling is here to help couples find better ways to manage difficult emotions. Working with their team can help to pinpoint what exactly is keeping your relationship from growing.
Through compassionate counseling they take the time to listen and help you both figure out the best way to heal and grow.
“When we talk about our feelings they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary” – Mr. Rogers
Note: When couples have made the decision to speak with a therapist, it may be that there are others in the family unit that would feel great relief in being heard as well. Follow this link for more information.
Written By: Jane Laker
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